26 June 2008

ways of seeing: men looking at women.

i posted this awhile back, but i'm reposting it now because recent events and conversations brought this excerpt back to mind. it's sad and astonishing how true and relevant this is to me.



by John Berger.

According to usage and conventions which are at last being questioned but have by no means been overcome, the social presence of a woman is different in kind from that of a man. A man's presence is dependent upon the promise of power which he embodies. If the promise is large and credible his presence is striking. If it is small or incredible, he is found to have little presence. The promised power may be moral, physical, temperamental, economic, social, sexual - but its object is always exterior to the man. A man's presence suggests what he is capable of doing for you. His presence may be fabricated, in the sense that he pretends to be capable of what he is not. But the pretense is always towards a power which he exercises on others.

By contrast, a woman's presence expresses her own attitude to herself, and defines what can and cannot be done to her. Her presence is manifest in her gestures, voice, opinions, expressions, clothes, chosen surroundings, taste - indeed there is nothing she can do which does not contribute to her presence. Presence for a woman is so intrinsic to her person that men tend to think of it as an almost physical emanation, a kind of heat or smell or aura.

To be born a woman has been to be born, within an allotted and confined space, into the keeping of men. The social presence of women has developed as a result of their ingenuity in living under such tutelage within such a limited space. But this has been at the cost of a woman's self being split into two. A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping at the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually.

And so she comes to consider the
surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman.

She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life. Her own sense of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another.

Men survey women before treating them. Consequently how a woman appears to a man can determine how she will be treated. To acquire some control over this process, women must contain it and interiorize it. That part of a woman's self which is the surveyor treats the part which is the surveyed so as to demonstrate to others how her whole self would like to be treated. And this exemplary treatment of herself by herself constitutes her presence. Every woman's presence regulates what is and is not "permissible" within her presence. Every one of her actions - whatever its direct purpose or motivation - is also read as an indication of how she would like to be treated. If a woman throws a glass on the floor, this is an example of how she treats her own emotion of anger and so of how she would wish to be treated by others. If a man does the same, his action is only read as an expression of his anger. If a woman makes a good joke this is an example of how she treats the joker in herself and accordingly of how she as a joker-woman would like to be treated by others. Only a man can make a good joke for its own sake.

One might simplify this by saying:
men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only more relations between men and women but also the relations of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is male; the surveyed female. Thus she turns herself into an object - and most particularly and object of vision: a sight.

23 June 2008

narrow stairs.

oooooohhweeee! just got home - i went to the death cab for cutie concert at the nokia theatre in downtown LA tonight. they are amazing. i mean, i've always known they're amazing, but as good as their albums are - i love everything about them : their musicality, their lyrics, etc etc - they somehow managed to be even more amazing live. they played a good mix of songs from all their albums, but i was sad at the end of the concert because they had not played my two favorite songs : title and registration and transatlanticism.. but when they came out for their encore they started with one and ended with the other, respectively (with a few songs inbetween). and their final performance of transatlanticism gave me chills. so good! best graduation present ever.

i want this ONE.

i have an obsession with bottles - and i want this one. now! but i have to wait until august - poo..

20 June 2008

hot and not-so-bothered.

yes, it is definitely summer in southern california. it's the third day in a row that we've reached temperatures in the triple digits and i am absolutely adoring it. probably because i sit indoors, AC'ed in front of a computer all day so i'm not sweating my proverbial balls off outdoors all day. but in the moments in between, going to lunch or to meetings, opening the door to the outside and having that dry heat wash over me - it's just so refreshing. i don't know why. it just is.

on an even happier note, i got my first paycheck! yes! income!

11 June 2008

gradumacated part 2 (of 3).

while i had graduation and knew i was graduated.. my academic worksheet did not reflect all my approved petitions and so "officially" my graduation hadn't been approved yet. i just checked today and my graduation audit was finally finally finally approved, so now i am officially graduated and will definitely be getting my diploma. now i just have to wait for that damn diploma to arrive (that will be part 3).

10 June 2008

i see you like to chew.

i've been "working" for two days now. really though, my days consist of some thumb twiddling and hours upon hours of training classes - and here i thought i was done with school. i really can't complain though - it's good to be back, and the classes are helpful in their own slightly redundant and boring way. hopefully in a couple weeks i'll actually have some tasks to do (no better way to learn, right?) and will have joined a gym and also started taking dance classes.

08 June 2008

liz&jenn's week of fun - in LA!

so much done in so little time.. so yet another blog in list format.

liz arrived in LA noon wednesday, and left early sunday morning.
  • getty center
  • downtown LA architecture (walt disney concert hall, our lady of the angels cathedral, caltrans building)
  • pink's hot dogs - so effing good!
  • hollywood
  • stalked celebrity houses
  • malibu - sharon osbourne sighting!
  • father's office
  • wb studio tour
  • hollywood sign
  • chelsea lately live audience
  • venice canals and beach
  • santa monica promenade


saturday we drove down to san diego:
  • cafe 976
  • pacific beach
  • la jolla architecture (salk institute, neurosciences institute)
  • gaslamp district
  • padresVmets

also, went and watched kung fu panda again today. i don't know how it's possible, but it was even better the second time around. seriously - go watch it!

01 June 2008

kwassa kwassa.

dumpling house.
culver city art walk.
cinespia.
in'n'out burger (animal style!).
urth caffé.
sprinkles cupcakes.

what a fantastic weekend. i heart LA.