nine in the afternoon.

panic at the disco's first single release off of their upcoming album pretty. odd. (march25)



first of all, i am a little upset that they are no longer panic! at the disco, and merely panic at the disco. i really did adore that exclamation point. secondly, while i do genuinely like the song (not love it mind you, with its cheesy lyrics, eg. your eyes are the size of the moon), i don't know how i feel about it coming from this band.

i fell in love with them over two years ago because they redefined, at least in my opinion, the genre of dance rock. their synthetic beats and almost techno-y style were a thing to dance, bump and throw one's hair around to. however, from what i have read, this album scraps all of that loveliness and is going for a more melodic, instrumental sound - and this song is evidence of that.

also, as theodore said when he heard the song, it kind of sounds like an imitation of the hush sound, their decaydance / fueled by ramen label mates. and while i absolutely adore the hush sound, they do what they do better than panic at the disco does.

i do like nine in the afternoon and am sure the new panic album will be solid and i am very much looking forward to it, but part of me is a little sad that what i so adored about them (the ! and the computer-generated musicalities) seem to have vanished.

topic du jour : faith.

after an emotional yet much-needed conversation with theodore today, i came to this sudden realization : i am a person of very little faith, or perhaps, no faith at all. this holds across all aspects of my life. i have no faith in god. i have no faith in people. i have no faith in myself or what the future holds. i think my lack of faith stems from my abhorrence of not-knowing. for so many situations, i hate not knowing what happened, is happening or will happen. this is why i don't like optimists; it's one thing to hope for the best, but it's another thing altogether to have faith that the reality of things, past, present, or future, aligns with what one wants and/or believes.

i am by no means a pessimist - i dislike pessimists as much as i dislike optimists - and i have always thought of myself as a realist, while others call me cynical. merriam-webster defines a cynic as: a faultfinding captious critic; especially one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest. well, i do believe that "human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest," but i don't necessarily think that it is a bad thing, and i definitely don't think of myself as being "faultfinding." well, maybe a little (but that's another story).

this is not to say i don't trust. there are definitely people in my life that i trust; more often than not, i trust others more than i trust in myself. instead, i think i'm a pretty realistic judge of people, at least when it comes to my own interactions with them and the aspects of their lives to which i am exposed (obviously, everyone is different in different situations - who i am with my family is not the same person that i am with my friends is not the same person i am with theodore, but they're all true reflections of my self). i don't trust easily, but i do come to trust in certain people, that they will do certain things and act certain ways.

so, where is this going? i'm not so sure. i think what is so surprising about my realization is that about five to six years ago, you could say i was a very faithful person. i was a devout christian, i had faith in people, i had faith in myself and my future even if i had no idea how it was going to turn out (i wasn't an optimist then either, but i just had faith for some reason). i had faith that i would have a certain standard of living, that i would meet a good man, be married by twenty-six and have kids by thirty. the funny thing is, my life is still on track for all of that to happen, perhaps much closer than i ever could have expected at twenty-one, and yet i am more terrified of it (and the possibility of losing it) than i ever could have imagined.

so my faith has been replaced with doubt and fear. i can see why people would choose to have faith in something, because living with the reality of one's fears and doubts without the possibility that some some power greater than oneself, whether god or karma or fate, exists and has some semblance of control over the events of our lives can be utterly paralyzing. but i think i will continue living my faith-less life, and simply hope to be strong enough to face whatever life throws at me, and if i'm not, that my friends and family that i love and trust will lend me theirs.

quotables : Walter Mischel.

Walter Mischel is a psychologist who writes :

when we observe a woman who seems hostile and fiercely independent some of the time but passive, dependent and feminine on other occasions, our reducing valve usually makes us choose between the two syndromes. we decide that one pattern is in the service of the other, or that both are in the service of a third motive. she must be a really castrating lady with a façade of passivity - or perhaps she is a warm, passive-dependent woman with a surface defense of aggressiveness. but perhaps nature is bigger than our concepts and it is possible for the lady to be a hostile, fiercely independent, passive, dependent, feminine, aggressive, warm, castrating person all-in-one. of course which of these she is at any particular moment would not be random or capricious - it would depend on who she is with, when, how, and much, much more. but each of these aspects of her self may be a quite genuine and real aspect of her total being.

something interesting to think about, no?

phone interview.

so today i had my first phone interview with dreamworks animation. it was about twenty minutes long, and went fairly well. my supervisor from last summer, whose little office he had to share with me, was my interviewer so it was a casual conversation on what i've been up to since the summer, specifically with regards to cg and animation of course. supposedly, they're not planning on flying me out for interviews and "someone will call me" so i guess i'll just have to wait an see what that means exactly.

persepolis.

so the animated movie i have been dying to see, but could not because it was only a ny/la release, has finally come to philadelphia. well, it has come to one theatre in philadelphia. needless to say, the instant i found out, i was at the next showing. i recently read the graphic novel on which the movie is based, and even tho i have always preferred the book to the movie-based-on-a-book, this film actually blew its original out of the water. it's amazing to me how stunningly beautiful and powerful this film was, especially in its simplicity and monochromatic nature (yes, i got rather teary-eyed and choked up a couple of times). part of me was scared of seeing it and being disappointed because it had been so hyped up for me by all the rave reviews, and yet i absolutely loved it.

high mercury levels are found in tuna sushi.

excerpt from NYTimes; full article can be found here.

i'm pretty sure everyone in my family, including myself, likes seafood way too much to actually take heed of this, which is reflected in these two paragraphs:

"A number of studies have found high blood mercury levels in people eating a diet rich in seafood. According to a 2007 survey by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, the average level of mercury in New Yorkers’ blood is three times higher than the national average. The report found especially high levels among Asian New Yorkers, especially foreign-born Chinese, and people with high incomes. The report noted that Asians tend to eat more seafood, and it speculated that wealthier people favored fish, like swordfish and bluefin tuna, that happen to have higher mercury levels.

The city has warned women who are pregnant or breast-feeding and children not to eat fresh tuna, Chilean sea bass, swordfish, shark, grouper and other kinds of fish it describes as “too high in mercury.” (Cooking fish has no effect on the mercury level.)"

job apps + exams.

so i have officially started to applying to jobs. so far i have applied to the following places:

_dreamworks animation
_pixar animation studios
_walt disney animation studios
_LAIKA
_rhythm+hues studios
_digital domain
_imagemovers digital

and several more in the process. fingers crossed!

also, i've been looking at my schedule for this semester and realized that i have ten (count them, 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - TEN) midterms and five final exams. i mean, what the heck?

R.I.P. Heathcliff Andrew Ledger.

i find myself oddly devastated by this. strange because i always liked him as an actor but he was never one of my favorites, until the recent release of the dark knight trailer. quel triste.

dear preppy penn boys,

no matter what your socioeconomic status, skin color, athletic affiliation or religious point of view, it is not okay to wear salmon colored pants.

thank you.

once.

i watched the movie once last night, and while i was skeptical at first, it is actually a beautiful, simple and unconventional little love story that surprised me. i think i kind of fell in love with it. it also has an amazing soundtrack.


here is a trailer, though it hardly does the movie the justice it deserves.

drinkables & produce.

ah, friday. it was indeed the first penndesign happy hour of the new year and semester, and with the 700s archs that were gone to london last semester all back as well. place was packed and probably the best happy hour there's been in awhile. it also happened to be alexF's and ashleyW's birthday with more planned drinking later in the evening in old city, before which some of us went over to liz's to drink some more. around 10p we all ended up at national mechanics, which was filled with so many penndesigners (and ppl in general) that it felt like happy hour all over again. the party then moved over to sugar mom's - a more spacious, funky underground place with several old bumper cars mixed in among the brick walls and pyramidal columns. sadly, drinking just isn't the same for me anymore - i had perhaps 4 beers between 6p and 1a, when i went home, sleepy and yearning for bed. i hear the party continued til the bar closed and then they all populated midtown diner for late-night munchies til 4a. jo-fucking-der.

after siggraph work hours today, liz drove me to the costco in king of prussia so i could stock up on freezable produce (mostly meat and seafood) for the semester. my mom always gives me several costco gift cards each semester, which comes quite in handy, and even though i've done it many times, the cashier today tried to tell me that i had to be a member to use said cards. and was giving me attitude about it. i've done this about five or six times over the past few years and have never ever had a problem, so i was pissed and had to put my foot down and return the attitude. thank goodness that was probably the last time i have to do that, but it put me in a foul mood for the next several hours. after dinner i watched live free or die hard (my first iTunes movie rental - sweet!), which was excellent i must say, and did chem homework until 2a. weee..!

current obsessions.

acquired over the past month:
haagen-dazs low fat vanilla frozen yogurt.
basketball shorts.
cumin (yes, the spice).
radiohead's in rainbows.
and this song... calabria 2008 by enur ft. mims and natasja.

acquired over the last year:
skinny jeans.
hot apple cider.
aviators.

long standing obsessions:
cupcakes.
hot dogs.
bottles.
hoodies and jackets.
cameras.
stationery.
kitchenware.
earrings.
cinnamon rolls.

after a one month philadelphia hiatus..

so after a nice, yet cold, week spent in chicago, i am back in philadelphia and classes have started. i had a little visit from bryant last friday, and then bryanK drove down from milwaukee on sunday for a day of walking around the city. ps, we had breakfast at ann sather that morning (famous for their cinnamon rolls), and can i just say that it was quite possibly the most tasty, rich and artery-clogging meal i've had in, well, ever.

anyway, flew into town on tuesday afternoon where i commenced unpacking and setting up the speakers that theodore had bought me for christmas (they are fantastic, i actually have bass now). dinnered with liz and jared at roosevelt's, then i went over to aj's to help set up for his little mongolian cocktail bbq party. it consisted of cleaning and chopping up a lot of fruit, and aj provided some crazy liquors as well as an amazing menu of cocktails for some do-it-yourself deliciousness.

wednesday commenced the classes, which also means i've started going to the gym and running again. since being back, i've had lunch with domi at copa's (their chicken burger w/ jerk spices and mango chutney is quite good) and dinner with nico, bryanK and andrewM over in chinatown (shaved noodle, of course). still have a lot of catching up to do with ppl, i have coffee dates and happy hours galore to attend. also!, the 700 arch grads that were in london last semester are back, so that's awfully exciting.

other than my senior design project i am taking: econ001 (microeconomics), chem101 (general chemistry), chem053 (chemistry lab), psyc111 (perception), cis112 (networked life). HA. all the req's i should have taken care of my freshman year but kept putting off. last semester was similar, with the freshmen writing seminar and everything, but still more interesting than this semester. but! i did get an A- in cis462 (computer animation algorithms & techniques), of which i am very proud (considering i've never gotten anything above a B in a comp sci course before..). the chemistry classes look like they will be a pain; econ seems okay (and i got a 5 on the microecon AP in high school so.. shouldn't be too bad, right?); the psyc class seems like an extension of the neuroscience class i took last year (but slightly less involved with biology); and networked life actually seems like it's going to be a good and interesting course. really, i'm just worried about getting my senior design project done.

what a load of poppycock.

i got the following email yesterday:

Dear Jennifer,

Future episodes of "Psych" will not be available on the iTunes Store. We realize that you purchased a season pass and regret that we will not be able to deliver these episodes to you. I have issued a pro-rated refund in the amount of $13.12 for the remaining episodes. You will see this credit in three to five business days. If Store Credit was used for this purchase, you should see the credit applied to your balance immediately.

I have also granted two free video credits to your account which you can use to purchase of any two TV episodes, music videos, or short films on the iTunes Store.

Your credit balance should display in the upper-right corner of iTunes next to your account name. If it does not, please sign out and sign back in to refresh. The sign out/sign in functions are found under the Store menu of iTunes. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and thank you for being an iTunes customer.

Sincerely,

Keith
iTunes Store Team
http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/store/


i mean, wtf. i'm deliriously sad and disappointed. psych is the one show i watch on cable (other than the food network, but that's only when its available and i'm bored), which i do not have, and i have been anxiously awaiting its return since it takes a three month hiatus from mid-october through mid-january. the season re-starts this friday, but i don't have cable!! which is why i purchased it on itunes in the first place. BAH.

i'm a wannabe photog.

the link to all my pics from taiwan, finally up on flickr.

halfway around the world in 48 hours.

my last three days in taiwan were spent in taipei, where we stayed at the yuanshan grand hotel. the days were spent mostly with my ahgong and ahma (dad's parents) and john's cindy's mom. on the last day mum, dad and i went to the taipei fine arts museum where there was a special exhibition on japanese plastic models and figurines. there was everything from sailormoon, dragonball (and every other japanese anime you can imagine), to alice in wonderland, star wars, and even some pornographic stuff in a separate red room. very cool. a few hours before my flight back to los angeles, i began feeling sick / nauseated, threw up, and started developing a fever. needless to say, the flight home was rather long and unpleasant, but i survived. i arrived at LAX friday night to find southern california cold drenched in pouring rain. finally got back to the house around 10.30p (after landing at 7p), painfully exhausted.

saturday morning i woke up pretty early and relatively refreshed. after doing laundry, errands and some packing, i drove to tannis's place in marina del rey to have lunch with her and cricket, who was in town for new year's. we grabbed le pain q to go in santa monica then spent a relaxing afternoon at burke williams (they got facials and mudbaths, i got a much needed massage). afterwards, i headed over to danG's to hang out and catch up. he gave me a mad2 td t-shirt as a christmas present - loves it! we had dinner at this little sushi place, and i even got him to try uni, ama ebi (including the heads) and soft shell crab for the first time. his roommate ben joined us for dessert at susina bakery&cafe and then we went and watched sweeney todd (it was really good, but i literally couldn't watch most of the 2nd half for the explicit blood and gore)over at the arclight in hollywood (my first time). didn't get home until almost 2am, but it was a great day all in all.

caught a noon-ish flight to chicago on sunday. it definitely feels good to be back here. theodore and i did a little grocery shopping and rented the kingdom, but i was so exhausted i fell asleep halfway through it. now i have about a week to get all my shit together so that i can apply to jobs. weeeee...!!!

tainan : land of good eats.

ah, the new year.. spent aujourd'hui in tainan, taiwan's oldest city and home of all the best taiwanese eats. while we dropped by a confucian temple, and some old forts from when the dutch occupied the island, most of our pitstops throughout the day (same driver) were to try out different fantastic foods and delicacies tainan is famous for.

upon our return to taichung, one last dinner was had with all my aunts and uncles here at this little place specializing in goose meat. deeeeeeelicious. and just $2500NT (~$75US) fed fourteen people. after dinner we did some shopping at a night market. picked up a new pair of sunglasses and some argyle socks. off to taipei tomorrow (and the final stretch of this trip)!

{ 11.07p taiwan / 7.07a los angeles }