recently, i have been having some very vivid dreams, some good, mostly bad. the bad have been particularly bad (someone breaking into my apartment and raping me at gun point, for example) and have left me feeling anxious and on edge a lot. upon mentioning my recent flood of dreams to theodore, he said that on the bright side, it was a sign that i'm sleeping better. i have in deed been sleeping better due to a more regular sleep/wake schedule i've sort of enforced on myself. but his comment reminded me of something from my childhood.
ever since i was little, i hated dreams whether they were good or bad. i think it's due to the fact that if i have them (or rather, remember them) they are so vivid to me that i have trouble distinguishing them from reality sometimes. there are a couple nightmares that i had when i was around five or six from which i can still remember every detail. anyway, i used to pray every night before i went to bed (i was raised christian) that i would have no dreams, good or bad (hao mong, hwai mong do bu yao). looking back, i really didn't dream after i started going to elementary school, but that's also about the time that i started having trouble falling asleep / staying asleep, ie, that's about when my insomnia started kicking in.
so i guess it comes down to which i'd rather live with: insomnia or nightmares?
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